that shit I think about

I don’t want to be reassured, consoled, or encouraged… I want directions for progress. I wanna take action to help her. She’s slowly dying and I’m just here like a FUCKING deer caught in headlights!!! I wanna do anything in my power to have her be healthy again… I’m tried of seeing her in this state. All types of Tubes going in and outa her, the inability to speak. Being assisted by all types of machines, the use of different types of meds…I wanna do something about it. But can’t… I’m just kid with no skills or assets…I’m powerless and useless at a terrifying moment in my life. I can only pray and hope for the best. :( My heart goes out to you lola. Please pull through for us.

Standing in the ER having people wiz past you. As you stand there petrified by the worry and the feeling of being completely helpless to help your loved one. one of the scariest experiences of my entire life. I pray to god that she’ll be ok.

there’s no other way to say it.